Wedding Gift Etiquette - What Do I Ask For? How Much Do I Give?

Here is some straightforward advice on wedding gift etiquette for the bride and groom, and for the wedding guest.

Wedding Gift Registry Eqtiquette

- Do not list your gift registry on your wedding invitation! If you chose to have a registry, it should have already been noted on the bridal shower invitation. Accept all your gifts graciously.

- Do not specify a preference of which gifts you would like to receive. For example, you can not say that all you want is cash! You are privileged to receive the wonderful gifts you are about to receive. If you get something you don’t like or can’t use, you’ll simply have to return it. It is the thought that counts. Don’t forget that.

- Do not use any of the gifts until after the wedding! In the unfortunate event that the wedding is called off, you must return all the gifts. Besides, there is superstition that if you use any gifts before the wedding, it will bring bad luck. A good practice is to also not use anything until after you have written the thank you note.

- Always send a thank you note! Always!!!!! You can say thank you in person, you can leave a message on someone’s voice mail, but send a written thank you anyway. A wedding is a sacred and profoundly meaningful affair. Take the time to express your gratefulness in a written memento.

Wedding Gift - How Much Should I Give?

- Here’s a biggie. Many guests will ponder over how much is the appropriate cash amount to give. The most common misconception is that what you give should cover the cost of your plate. This is rubbish. Does that mean you would give more to a couple who held their wedding at a fancy catering hall than you would to a couple who elected to have it at a restaurant or in their backyard? This is a common mistake people make, and it is wrong. You are giving a gift to the people who are getting married.

- Your gift should not be based on where they decide to host their celebration or how much they chose to pay for it! You give what you can afford, and you give what you want to give. You give according to your relationship with the couple. If the couple is very wealthy and have their reception at the Taj Mahal, but you can barely make your rent, don’t take a loan out to cover your gift. You give what you can. On the flip side, if the couple hosts a small gathering because they had to pay for their own wedding and the majority of their money is tied up paying off student loans, yet your means are equivalent to that of Donald Trump - does that mean you’d give less? Remember that gift giving comes from the heart and should not be derived by a mathematical calculation. Do give from your heart. You are in the hearts of the couple who invited you.

One last note on wedding etiquette to lighten things up a little bit … rent the movie “Father of the Bride” starring Steve Martin, Diane Keaton and Martin Short! While you are laughing your head off, you will relate to so many things. Remember … there is more to all this fuss and planning than just the wedding day itself. You have to enjoy the journey while you get there. Make it a memorable ride.